Antiquing… A Hilarious Visual Journey

So right now I am back home visiting my mother in Findlay. Tomorrow we are going to be having a “Christmas in July” party along with my good friend Amber, where we are going to be making Christmas ornaments and other Christmas crafts. (More on that in another post.) But today we went to one of my favorite places in the whole world… Jeffery’s Antique Mall.

For those of you who have never been there, all I can say is that you are seriously missing out. The entire building is like a mile long loop of just the most awesome antiques (and hilarious junk) in the Northwest Ohio area. We go just about every time I am home and we spend on average at least 2-3 hours walking around looking at everything. Here is a summary of the good, the bad and the completely ugly in picture format… Enjoy!

We will start off with the best of the worst we could find. Mom and I actually had a contest to see who could find the weirdest stuff… Here are the results…

 Right out of the gate we found this gem. She looks like she was on the wrong end of a street fight and received black eyes as a result. Sweetheart, seriously, blue eye shadow is so 1980s…

Next up was Bling Buddha. Clearly for gangstas who are looking to express their spiritual side ha ha.

This lovely item looks like one of the mutant toys from Sid’s house in Toy Story. If I had woke up in the middle of the night with this thing in my bed as a child I think I would have peed myself.
Before Littlest Pet Shop looked like this… there was this cat…

 No house would be complete without a caveman with fuzzy hair gnawing on a haunch of mammoth flesh… (Chest hair sold separately)

 And if you get bored with your caveman, you could always mount a 6 foot long giant fish on your wall!

Move over grumpy cat, there’s a new grouch in town. His name is Bitchy Bulldog!
Please don’t park in the middle of this booth… clearly there is a funeral.
Ladies please try and control yourselves and your Barbies… Camel Toe Ken and his giant afro are only available for a short period of time. (Seriously his shorts were crammed so far up his leg joints I couldn’t pull them out. His crotch must have been really hungry LOL!)
My question for this magazine is, why would you put a model on the cover that looks that ticked off? Come to think of it, if I had to pose like that I would probably be angry too…
The thermometer I can clearly understand, the thing wrapped around it is not only confusing but terrifying. It’s listed as a “child” on the label, it looks more like the tar baby from the brer rabbit stories than a child. Either that or it’s just horrifically racist… maybe both.

Lovely picture of me showcasing a giant syringe… You could probably shoot a lot of drugs with this puppy ha ha.

So if that stuff wasn’t weird enough for you, we have our Horrific Items Hall of Infamy winner…

WTF is this!!??? It looks like a disembodied head, and what’s with the cards? “Ugly” doesn’t even begin to cover it. Simply put, this is nightmare inducing…. What idiot would pay anything to own this? I wouldn’t have that in my house if you paid me to display it.

Not everything was that strange though, there was actually a lot of cool stuff too…

Like this metal belt I would totally wear, sadly I did not have $45 to spend on it though…

And what child (or fully grown male) doesn’t want their own shield? This sucker was the size of my torso and was made out of real steal and leather…

I love old typewriters, maybe someday I will buy one like this…

Also, if I wasn’t poor I would have bought some of these awesome vintage window frames… So much amazing art could be made with them…

My Great-Grandma Arnold actually had a ceramics shop were she made these. My brother and I both had little ones that we used for a night lights at Christmas time when we were kids…

Who doesn’t love the Muppet Show?! If you don’t then I’m sorry, we can’t be friends anymore. I love the Swedish Chef hee hee…

Same goes for Star Wars… we can’t be friends if you are a Trekkie. Unless your name is Sheldon Cooper, then it’s cool…

This vintage picture of this baby was just too freaken cute…

I think the coolest thing we found though was a copy of my Grandparent’s Senior yearbook…

Here’s my Grandpa, he’s the second from the left in the top row. He was a handsome devil in his day 🙂

And here is my Grandma…

I came away with a pretty good stash of old photos and some old stamps that I will use in paintings. It was a fun afternoon, I always love spending time with my mom digging through old stuff. One of these days I am going to have to make my way over to their sister location in Springfield Ohio, I am pretty sure it’s just as big or bigger than the Findlay location! Which is saying a lot because you do a lot of walking in the Findlay store to get through everything. I am probably going to pass out early tonight so I will be ready for tomorrow’s Christmas crafting extravaganza!!

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