The last few days have been so wonderful, I am sort of bummed out that I am back home alone in my apartment once more.
Saturday Mike and his brother Matt were both groomsmen in the wedding of one of their good friends, and I was invited as Mike’s plus one. Things started off a little rough, and I had sort of a diva moment while I was getting ready that morning. It had been awhile since I had styled my hair fancy and I decided to adhere to the old adage of “dirty hair styles better.” Yeeeaahhh… apparently I can’t even conform to something as silly as hair wisdom as mine did not prove that phrase to be true at all. I spent 45 minutes curling it, only for it to fall flat as soon as I was done. I tried pulling it up into an updo only for it to look like I had just come back sweaty from a run at the gym. I was about ready to cry it looked so bad. Fortunately, the boys had to be to the wedding early, so I decided to stay behind and attempt to fix it and just meet up with them later. After a wash and dry it actually took curl and looked much, much better, I wasn’t embarrassed to be seen in public anymore!
I got there and didn’t know a soul except Mike and Matt, and their friend, the groom, whom they introduced me too. It didn’t matter that I had to sit by myself during the ceremony because I just adore weddings. It’s hard not to be all smiles at a wedding, even if you don’t know anyone. Weddings are such a celebration of love and joyfulness (or at least that’s the idea) it’s hard not to be in a fantastic mood while you’re there.
I have to say it was a funny, because this was the first wedding I have been to since the divorce and I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it, but that day I felt exquisitely happy. At the reception there weren’t a lot of young people, and those who were there didn’t seem too interested in dancing, but I desperately wanted to because I love to dance. At first I was scared to be the only one out there (plus Mike), because I was worried about other people watching me and thinking “who’s that crazy girl?” But then I decided to say screw it and have some fun. So we danced and I kicked up my heels like I was back in college at an Uptown 80s night again. But I didn’t just dance, I played with bubbles, listened to children giggle and talked about Big Bang Theory with five middle aged hairdressers too!
It was crazy because I literally felt like I was high on happiness. I felt truly alive for the first time in a LONG time. Even on the way home Mike and I jammed out to the radio with the windows down while I sang Justin Timberlake into a hairbrush. I love how I can share those moments with him, and be my quirky, crazy self without being afraid of what he’s going to think. Having permission from someone I really care about to be who I am, wholly and unabashedly is such a blessing.
More and more lately I feel like a butterfly emerging from my cocoon. In the spirit of learning to be brave, I am trying to take more risks in finding my joy, even if they are small ones like doing the electric slide very poorly in front of a bunch of other people. I feel like I am finally getting my groove back.
I am also really excited because I signed up for my first online mixed media class
. It starts on Aug 6 and I am pretty pumped.
This weekend reinforced what I have been learning the last few weeks, which is that life is all about taking risks. Sometimes they are painful, sometimes they bring great joy, and sometimes we don’t know which way they will go until we gather our courage and go for it. But without risk you aren’t really living, or at least not living joyously. One thing’s for certain, I, for one, would rather dance and look like a fool, then sit on the sidelines wishing I was out there busting a move instead. Just sayin…
|Flowers from the wedding… You can’t tell but there were bubbles floating around them.
|Sunday was a lazy day playing frisbee with the pups.