Prologue Part 2: The Continuing Story

Welcome back! I am sure you have all been anxiously waiting with bated breath to hear the next part of the story (and yes I am being facetious) so without further adieu…

Where was I? Oh yes, we are now up to the middle of May and I had just scheduled my first appointment with Columbus Acupuncture and Wellness Center (shameless plug number two!). My first appointment was…well, weird. I had never had any sort of Eastern medical treatment before so I had absolutely NO idea what to expect. Muscle testing seems really strange if you have never had it done before. Fortunately, not only did Chris do an excellent job of explaining the whole process in stupid people terms, but I’ve hung around with some really weird people over the years (and I love you all dearly!) so I am no stranger to bizarre new experiences. After I got my results back Chris helped me come up with a specialized plan to treat all the craziness that was going on in my body which, I might add, was definitely NOT an ulcer. For me this meant a complete overhaul of my diet and a regimen of whole food supplements.

Giving up fast food and taking vitamins… I could do that, right? I felt pretty confident until I had my consult with the dietician and discovered I wasn’t allowed to have any sugar, (ok, not good for you anyway everyone knows that) no grains, (too many carbs can be bad for you as well) AND no dairy (WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?!). I am not going to lie, I almost threw in the towel right then and there. I am well known amongst my friends as  being a cheese snob. Heaven on earth for me is a place called “Heini’s Cheese Chalet” located in Amish country where they make like 200 different types of cheese and offer samples of all of them. Not to mention no dairy meant no ice cream either, which seemed like a cruel joke considering Handel’s down the street had just reopened after a year and a half hiatus and I was looking forward to a summer full of chocolate cake batter ice cream cones (I swear they put crack in their ice cream it’s so addicting). However, as a testament to how shitty I felt I was willing to give up even dairy and try this crazy Eastern medicine stuff if it meant there was even a chance I might actually feel like a human being again. So I said “ciao” (or “chow” ha ha that one was for you John) to cheese and dove head first into the new diet.

Here’s the funny thing- within just a couple of weeks (keep in mind I had been dealing with various health issues for almost a decade) I started to notice a change. I wasn’t tired all the time and I had a lot more energy. I had all this free time because I wasn’t napping two or three times a day! Also, another fun fact- apparently when all you are eating is good quality cuts of meat and tons of fresh fruits and vegetables you drop weight like it’s HOT! (Who knew?) Within three months I had lost almost 40 pounds and 4-5 pant sizes. For those of you who actually know me I have always been curvy, but never overweight. Before I started the program I would have loved to have lost 5, maybe 10 pounds, but 40? That’s a lot, and while I am not complaining in the least it’s taken awhile to get used to my new “twiggier” body.

Meanwhile, fast forward a couple of months to the end of July. Physically I felt better than I had in years, but emotionally I still felt restless and stuck. One day I was complaining about it to Chris at one of my weekly checkups- all the ridiculous crap they were changing back at the office, how much harder they were making it to do my job and how I essentially hated it and wanted out. Chris, being the kind and infinitely patient man that he is quietly endured my bitching as he had every other week for the last several months, so imagine my surprise when I finish my angry tirade and he says “How would you feel about working here?” Ummmm… first of all- I am surprised my craziness hadn’t already gotten me fired as a patient, and secondly- YES PLEASE!!! Which is ironic because not too long before that I had actually thought that working some place like CAaWC would be really cool. Turns out Chris had been looking for a client advocate to help expand the practice, and with my background in social work as well as, (I’d like to think) my sparkling personality, I apparently fit the bill. Funny how things work out sometimes.

So now I had all this new found energy, a new skinner body, and a potentially awesome new job. You’d think that would have been enough right? Wrong. Turns out I was simply in the eye of the storm, the biggest challenge was yet to come.

Stay tuned and check in later next Wednesday for Prologue Part III: The Hailstorm- the third and final installment before the real fun begins!

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