Who uttered that little pearl of wisdom you might ask? That was me on June 6, of this year. I stumbled across it a couple of weeks ago when I was re-reading one of my old journals. It really stuck with me and I have been thinking about it a lot ever since.
Trouble is, (despite everything that has happened in the last four months) I don’t feel like my life has been all that extraordinary. In fact, I would venture to say it’s felt downright mundane. And to top it all off I am becoming a statistic. I will soon be joining the all inclusive club of 50% of American marriages that end in divorce. This is pretty significant, obviously, but before we get to that you need to know where I was and how I got to this point. To give you an idea- here is me almost a year ago…
December 19, 2011
“The holidays are getting closer and closer and I keep trying to get excited, but find that I can’t. I don’t really care about anything. I am starting to realize I haven’t been doing the stuff I normally like to do. I haven’t been eating very well and sleep sometimes is hard… I feel emotionally numb, like I feel absolutely nothing at all. That’s a little scary for me… I don’t want to live like a zombie. I want to enjoy life, but sometimes I don’t think I know how. I keep thinking ‘If I get a new job, if I figure out my spirituality, if I do this and do that I will be happy.’ I think that’s a lie. [We] are always chasing ‘what if’s’ and ‘maybe whens,’ and sometimes when we get them they aren’t any better. And then we start all over with something new.”
I paint a cheerful picture don’t I? Sad though it is, these were the conditions from which I had been operating under for a long time. For many years I had had an overwhelming sense that there was more to life and I was missing out on it somehow. However, things hit an all time low and then really started to change this spring.
In March I had been having a lot of problems with stomach pains and nausea and had to have an ultrasound done to make sure my liver, gallbladder, and appendix were functioning properly. When that all came back normal my regular doctor concluded I had an “ulcer”. His treatment was to give me some prescription strength antacids and send me on my merry way. That, quite frankly, really pissed me off. So I sent up a prayer to the universe for help and healing and started looking for other options.
They say ask and you shall receive! Literally two days after my desperate plea for help I woke up to a Groupon email sitting in my inbox with the feature deal being an initial consult and several follow up sessions at Columbus Acupuncture and Wellness Center (shameless plug for you Chris!). One of the teachers at a school where I counsel has always waxed poetically about how amazing acupuncture is and how it can treat allergies, sports injuries, infertility, digestion issues, migraines, save the rainforests, stop global warming, solve world hunger etc, etc. So I figured, “What the hell? Having tiny little needles shoved in my body can’t possibly make things any worse right?” so I took the plunge and made an appointment.
This was one of those little moments, a tiny little action where you look back later and say “HOLY GUACAMOLE BATMAN!” if I only knew… But I didn’t know, I was completely clueless that making that appointment would be the catalyst, my first small extraordinary step that would end up changing everything and turn my entire life upside down…
And that my friends is where I leave you until Saturday when I post Prologue Part II: The Continuing Story.